"Sits up straight and knows how to take a compliment
Jealous but the right amount
Isn't scared of missing out, missing outs scared of missing her, yeah"
- "That's The Kind Of Woman" on Not In Chronological Order (2021)
This Time It All Started With…
me returning to my role as the family chef once a week. Naturally, a good chef comes paired with good music blaring whilst you sauté the onions.
Enter: Julia Michaels. A lyric genius.
I am quite disappointed in myself for only sharing a Julia Michaels song with you all now! I apologize for keeping her from you.
Now you may know her from her first single: “Issues” (to listen, click here). You may also know her from these songs (because she wrote them):
1. “Bad Liar” by Selena Gomez
2. “Sorry” by Justin Bieber
3. “Dive” by Ed Sheeran (also a very good song, BTW)
4. “Heavy” by Linkin Park
5. “Used To Love You” by Gwen Stefani
6. “Miss Movin’ On” by Fifth Harmony
7. “Close” by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo
8. “Fire Starter” by Demi Lovato
9. “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez
10. “Pretty Please” by Dua Lipa
11. “War paint” by Kelly Clarkson
12. “The Feeling” by Justin Bieber ft. Halsey
And the list goes on…
You see, before Julia Michaels started her career as a pop singer, she was a songwriter for numerous well-known pop stars ranging from Gwen Stefani and Demi Lovato to Justin Bieber and Britney Spears.
I’ve also been a fan of her music because of the way she shares a feeling or a fleeting moment through lyrics.
“Oh, I try my best just to be social
I make all these plans with friends and hope they call and cancel
Then I overthink about the things I’m missing
Now I’m wishing I was with ‘em” – “Anxiety” by Julia Michaels ft. Selena Gomez
(To be honest, this entire song voices the thoughts of numerous people who are just too afraid to voice it themselves)
“And sometimes I think I kill relationships for art
I start up all this shit to watch ‘em fall apart
I pay my bills with it, I watch ‘em fall apart
Then pay for the price for it, I watch ‘em fall apart…” – “Happy” by Julia Michaels
(I personally love how she subtly calls out the new stereotypical female singer/songwriter who writes songs about her break up and then makes money off of it = “I kill relationships for art”, “I pay my bills with it”)
“And I don’t see what you see
But I want to, I wanna love…
Love my body like I love your body” – “Body” by Julia Michaels
(She addresses body dysmorphia/self-hatred/insecurities)
“The summer before you
I thought love was Shakespearean” – “Little Did I Know” by Julia Michaels
“…I got hay fever from my feelings…” – “Lie Like This” by Julia Michaels
“Tell me everything. I want your history,
Cause we could be history in the making” – “History” by Julia Michaels
“That’s The Kind Of Woman” is no different. This is a song about a love story. But not your ordinary love story. This one only involves one person and a potential personality, and maybe even life, change.
It’s a song that acts as a list of “the ideal woman”, however, none of the characteristics and personality traits listed, mirror society’s expectations of “the ideal woman”. There are no mention of the conventional ideals women have had to live up to for the past 70 years.
- “Isn’t always on defence”
- “Sits up straight”
- “Knows how to take a compliment”
- “Isn’t scared of missing out”
- “Doesn’t buy things to fill voids”
- “Doesn’t hate the sound of her own voice”
Even though that is only the first verse, the list only contains characteristics that all human beings should live by to ensure they are the best version of themselves.
We shouldn’t always be on defence, not everyone is out to get us. We should learn how to sit up straight because it is good for our posture (male or female). We should all know how to take a compliment (but also learn when is the right moment to give out a compliment!)
- “Doesn’t cry when someone leaves”
- “Doesn’t keep those letters in a drawer”
- “Doesn’t keep a closet full of things she bought and never wore”
I think it is time we learn how to move on from people we have outgrown. It is okay to say goodbye to people from an old season in your life if there’s no space for them in your new season (and it’s also okay to welcome them back in a later season).
Julia is definitely still struggling to throw those letters out of her drawer. In her song “Love is Weird” (features on the same album) she mentions them: “Keep my exes letters in the third drawer of my dresser”. Come to think of it, she addresses majority of what she lists in this song, throughout her other songs on this album…
It’s 2021. Throw out those jeans you bought in 2017 thinking “one day I’ll fit in them”/”one day I’ll find the perfect shirt to go with it”. Life is too short to live by that mantra.
Out with the old. In with the new.
I’ll be the first to admit that some of the things she lists throughout the song may not be completely possible or realistic whilst living in our current world.
- “Mind takes a break when she falls asleep”
- “Crosses T’s and cuts her ties”
- “Always takes her own advice”
Maybe these would have been easier if we didn’t have social media platforms available at the tip of our fingers. Teasing and testing us...
Maybe then we’d be able to get closure or peace, even just for a night…
Or maybe we should just take a break every now and then. Don’t be scared to switch off your phone or deactivate your social media accounts for a week. If it gets overwhelming on there, it is okay to take a break.
Throughout the song, Miss Michaels keeps stating: “If the me I am walked out that door, that’s the kind of woman I’d leave me for”. Suggesting that the version of her she is now, is not good enough for herself. The version of her that she is singing about, is worth fighting for.
To be honest, That’s the kind of me I’d leave myself for. Which motivates me even more to work harder on myself!
The song ends with her asking herself: “If the me I am walked out that door, would I miss her?” and she answers herself in the same verse (you’ll have to listen to the song to hear the end of this love story).
So dear reader, I ask you: Are you happy with the “you” you are right now? If you walked out that door, is that the kind of “you” you’d leave yourself for? Would you miss your old self if you were to change for the better?
Or are you completely content with who you are and how you live your life?
(To listen to this song, click here)
Lyrics
Childhood picket fence, smells like confidence Raised with a little more common sense Isn't always on defense Sits up straight and knows how to take a compliment Jealous but the right amount Isn't scared of missing out, missing outs scared of missing her, yeah Doesn't buy things to fill voids Doesn't hate the sound of her own voice
If the me I am Walked out that door That's the kind of woman I'd leave me for
Doesn't cry when someone leaves Isn't contradictory Mind takes a break when she falls asleep Always takes her own advice Crosses T's and cuts her ties Figured out sympathize from empathize Doesn't keep those letters in a drawer Doesn't keep a closet full of things she bought and never wore Gives all her attention to the people that are with her She still loves to dance She still loves her sister
If the me I am Walked out that door That's the kind of woman I'd leave me for
Hmmm Oh yeah
Jealous but the right amount Isn't scared of missing out, missing outs scared of missing her, yeah Doesn't buy things to fill voids Doesn't hate the sound of her own voice
If the me I am Walked out that door Would I miss her? Maybe, a little bit, sure Oh, I love myself, but I'd love her more Yeah, that's the kind of woman I'd leave me for
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